Suffocating in my sorrows

So I got a Merit for my Intermediate ballet exam - 71/100.

I know that that exam is hard to get a good mark in and I should be happy about my result but, I somehow feel disappointed about how I did. I know, I'm freaking psycho! But I really, really can't help it!




My brain tells me that I did well but,

my heart is

hurting

so much

that I

can hardly breathe

...

Why? I do not understand.. I should be happy. Maybe I'll just never be satisfied with what I have.

Or maybe,
it's just a fact that I'm realising;

that I'm not a good enough dancer

that I wanna be?