I can't define what makes a guy hot. 

Cause I haven't seen one yet. 

~stolen from Maria

My dream day

All I want is to hang with my friends somewhere that's peaceful and calm for a whole day. Just hang and do nothing that was planned beforehand. 

Sounds simple. 

But nowadays, everyone's busy. 

Always doing something else that is more important. 

Something I just realized..

I watched Step up 2 on Tuesday and it was an awesome movie but I didn't even think about the movie afterwards. 

Sigh.. 

What's wrong with me? 

You can be surrounded by people you know but still feel lonely

I haven't blogged in ages.. I know.. Here you go, Sam.. I'm updating my blog.. 

I feel so stupid, sometimes. I should have known better. I know.. But, for some things in life, we can't really help it if it happens. It's just the way we deal with it, I guess. How I do wish that it would not happen, though. Makes life more complicated and confusing. As if life was not complicated enough already. 

I know I don't make sense. Boo.. You're not suppose to know what is it about. If you do, you know too much.. 

Sigh.. I realized this year how much alone I felt. It's always been hard for me to make friends. Not so much the general friends you meet and say hi and hang around for a little while. More of the actual friends who are close to you. And you become one of the first people they would turn to for help, advice or just for someone to listen to them. I realized that if something happened to me, I wouldn't know who to go to. I realized that I didn't have my first-person-I-would-turn-to person. Cause I realized that the first people I would turn to would be the 2 closest friends I left in Malaysia. 

I don't know why but no matter how hard I try to find anyone who could be nearly as close to me as you both are, I can't. I definitely don't want to replace you guys. I just want someone who would have 3 day sleepovers with me and not get sick of me, go crazy and hyper with me but still I'm able to tell them about my life and not feel uncomfortable. But you both know how hard it is for me to put so much trust on people. I just, I don't know.. 

In the surface, I might act like everything is okay and I'm fine. I am happy with my life now, I am! I just sometimes wish I could find one person here that would be my person just so that I could miss you guys less and not feel so much like an outcast. 

Never have I wanted you both to be here with me so much! I feel lonely.. I feel so upset and confused and I don't know who to turn to. 

Sam and Hill, I really miss you both so much.. 

Love you both, 

Lyn  s2