Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...

I have awesome people around me

There's no other way of describing you guys.
Thank you so much! =D

~ . ~ . ~

This is about my sweet 16th birthday. It was definitely sweet!

I celebrated my birthday 5 times this year - only one of which was actually planned on my own. I had 4 birthday cakes - also only one was booked by myself (or my mom and I). =) You guys are just great!

On the 27th of July which was a Sunday, Ruth, the rest of Sparklers and some other church people suprised me after 1st service with a chocolate cake. I also was given a photo of the whole of Sparklers as my present from Sparklers. =) Thank you so much Ruth for organising it and making it happen! Gotta love Sparklers!

~ ~ ~

On the 30th of July which was a Wednesday, I celebrated my birthday with my family. We had Indonesian food. It was really good but extremely spicy! Like, no joke! But it was pretty good food so it was worth it! =D

~ ~ ~

On my birthday, the 31st of July which was a Thursday, Kami and the rest of my friends in school organising a suprise birthday cake for me as well. When I was at the toilet with Victoria (which was a way for her to get me away from the cafeteria for awhile), the lit the candles and they candles melted nearly all the way down to the cake! They had to get a couple of people to sneakily bring me to the caf ASAP! When I stepped into the caf, the whole group of people on the table sang 'Happy Birthday' and we had some chocolate cake. =) It was the same cake as the one I had at church but it was melted from the candles (or wax) so it was yummy! It was great! Love you Kami and others for organising it! Oh! And according to Kami, it's really hard to hide things from me cause I'm really observant. ;P Haha! That was funny!

~ ~ ~

On the 1st of August, after Fungus finished their activities, I was soooo excited because we were going to suprise Tony whose birthday is on the 2nd of Aug. Little did I know that they planned and bought a cake for me as well! So yeah.. The lights went down and they started singing 'Happy birthday'. I kinda planned this for Tony so I wasn't suprised. But I was suprised when I saw 2 cakes! One was carried by Keith and the other by Keean. I was kinda blurr even when they sang 'Happy birthday to Tony and Kim' but Michelle pushed me forward cause Keean could not find me and he was saying 'I can't find my person! I lost my person!' LOL That was funny! ;P So I blew the candles out and cut the cake. Then, Michelle and I ran off to look at the transport list. Keith called me to the cakes to ask me to cut the cakes. It was a pretty good cake. Strawberry cake - it had like pink, strawberry cream in the middle. I think they chose that because I like pink? ;P Haha! It was quite a good suprise? Tony was happy too, I think, so yeah.. =)

~ ~ ~

On the 3rd of August (the day that I've been looking forward to for about a week because that was when I started planning for it and inviting people) which was a Sunday, I had planned a birthday celebration with over 40 of my friends. The people who ended up turning up were:

Fungus: Michelle, Keean, Nessa, Tony, Keith H, Wenya, Carissa, Pete, Steph, Shaun, Gabriel, Daniel, Franny, Kevin C, Chris Ong Jr., Jasmine, Kimmy, Grace & Jenny

impact! Youth: Julia, Penguin, Jaymee, Grace D, Yeeren, Alex, Aaron, Danny & Sally

Blacky: Victor, Terence, Derek, Bryan, Erin, Nikkie & Emily

BHSSC: Kami, Nathan, Allysha & Victoria

Others: Sis, bro & Esther

It was a good party!

I planned out a game for people to meet people they don't know. It went pretty well. I had prepared punishments for people who didn't talk to their person but I didn't have to use the punishments. However, there were a couple of guys who wanted to do the punishments. I think the people who did the 'punishments' just for fun were Kevin C, Keean, Daniel, Shaun and Nathan. It was really funny and that acted like an ice breaker. =)

We sat and ate and there were a few combined tables and I was so proud to see my friends talking to people they didn't know. =) As I said, I know awesome people so they got along well. We took a few pictures and chatted.

Then, it was speech time. I had asked 5 people; Julia-representing impact!, Keean-representing Fungus, Erin-representing Blacky, Kami-representing BHSSC and Mich (representing herself)to give me a speech. But on the night, Keean decided to get other people in Fungus a chance to say something. The others were Keith, Tony, Pete, Kimmy, Nessa, Steph (who actually didn't go up and say read it out but Daniel did for her. But it's ok) and Daniel. Then, Keean, Daniel and Shaun sang one of their Altitude songs. =P My brother, sister and Victor also jumped up and said something. After that they got me to say a speech but it was a short one.

We mingled around.. Took more photos.. I gave out my 'Thank you cards'. Then we had cake. =) Chatted. Took photos.

Said bye and people started going home.

When I got home, after getting online, I started opening my presents. =) We got home at about 10.30? I opened my presents til after 12.30 and I was wrecked! It was an awesome, awesome, awesome party! Most people were talking to people they didn't know and it was just great! =) Thank you all who came to my party!

Haha! Kami and I skipped the first class on Monday and Victoria didn't go to school at all on Monday. ;P

I'll post about my presents when I've had a good look at them =)

~ ~ ~

Once again, thank you guys! It was the best birthday I had so far! Thanks for all who were in any of the celebrations listed above =D

I can't define what makes a guy hot. 

Cause I haven't seen one yet. 

~stolen from Maria

My dream day

All I want is to hang with my friends somewhere that's peaceful and calm for a whole day. Just hang and do nothing that was planned beforehand. 

Sounds simple. 

But nowadays, everyone's busy. 

Always doing something else that is more important. 

Something I just realized..

I watched Step up 2 on Tuesday and it was an awesome movie but I didn't even think about the movie afterwards. 

Sigh.. 

What's wrong with me? 

You can be surrounded by people you know but still feel lonely

I haven't blogged in ages.. I know.. Here you go, Sam.. I'm updating my blog.. 

I feel so stupid, sometimes. I should have known better. I know.. But, for some things in life, we can't really help it if it happens. It's just the way we deal with it, I guess. How I do wish that it would not happen, though. Makes life more complicated and confusing. As if life was not complicated enough already. 

I know I don't make sense. Boo.. You're not suppose to know what is it about. If you do, you know too much.. 

Sigh.. I realized this year how much alone I felt. It's always been hard for me to make friends. Not so much the general friends you meet and say hi and hang around for a little while. More of the actual friends who are close to you. And you become one of the first people they would turn to for help, advice or just for someone to listen to them. I realized that if something happened to me, I wouldn't know who to go to. I realized that I didn't have my first-person-I-would-turn-to person. Cause I realized that the first people I would turn to would be the 2 closest friends I left in Malaysia. 

I don't know why but no matter how hard I try to find anyone who could be nearly as close to me as you both are, I can't. I definitely don't want to replace you guys. I just want someone who would have 3 day sleepovers with me and not get sick of me, go crazy and hyper with me but still I'm able to tell them about my life and not feel uncomfortable. But you both know how hard it is for me to put so much trust on people. I just, I don't know.. 

In the surface, I might act like everything is okay and I'm fine. I am happy with my life now, I am! I just sometimes wish I could find one person here that would be my person just so that I could miss you guys less and not feel so much like an outcast. 

Never have I wanted you both to be here with me so much! I feel lonely.. I feel so upset and confused and I don't know who to turn to. 

Sam and Hill, I really miss you both so much.. 

Love you both, 

Lyn  s2 

Dedicated to Samantha Claire because she says so ;P

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:

1. Fly all my close friends to Australia (with no return tickets so that you guys have to stay here with me) ;P
2. Fly to Malaysia - to go shopping & to see you guys if No.1 is impossible!!
3. Cash, gift card and/or movie tickets!
4. Lots of dancewear!!!
5. Butterfly stuff!! =)

The person who tagged you this:

Samantha Claire

Your 5 impressions of her:

1. Pretty (thought she doesn't think so)
2. Organised!!
3. Loves shopping! (One reason why I love her so much) ;P
4. Creative
5. Misses me? ;P (I hope)

Most memorable things she has given/done for you:

I can go crazily hyper and she won't mind and she'll go hyper too. And I love that she's just there just to hang around and be with me.

If she becomes my lover, I will:

O.O Ask God if He really wants this to happen.

If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:

That I didn't go back to Malaysia for years and she misses me too much and therefore she is mad at me. ;P

Pass the quiz to the people that you wish to know how they feel about you:

1. Samantha Claire
2. Sammie (cousin)
3. Hilly
4. Kate
5. Marcia
6. Tony