All the world's a stage

No need for the stained glass masquerade

2010-01-05T20:05:00.003+11:00

Stained Glass Masquerade
by Casting Crowns

Is there anyone that fails?
Is there anyone that falls?
Am I the only one in church today
Feelin' so small?

'Cause when I take a look around
Everyone seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away
Like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it
Maybe I'll believe it, too

So with a painted grin
I play the part again
So everyone will see me
That way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

= ~ * . ~ . * ~ =

"Crying has an important function for the human soul. To constantly deny ourselves the right to cry has the potential to not only disable us emotionally, but even worse, to put us under such enormous pressure that we could have a breakdown. There is healing in tears and often when you have had a cry you will feel better for a time. Crying releases chemicals called endorphins which are vital to our mental well-being and reduce stress build-up."

From 'Is is better to cry when hurt or hold back all feelings?' by Ruth Woodhouse

Set me free by Casting Crowns

2009-05-10T15:53:00.008+10:00

It hasn't always been this way

I remember brighter days

Before the dark ones came

Stole my mind

Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead

Fighting voices in my head

Hoping someone hears me crying in the night

And carries me away

Set my free of the chains holding me

Is anybody out there hearing me?

Set me free

Morning breaks another day

Find me crying in the rain

All alone with my demons I am

Who is this man that comes my way?

The dark ones shriek

They scream His name

Is this the One they say will set the captives free?

Jesus, rescue me

As the God man passes by

He looks straight through my eyes

And darkness cannot hide

Do you wanna me free?

Lift your chains

I hold the key

All Power on Heaven and earth belong to me

You are free

Feeling of the day: Bubbly

2009-03-26T00:14:00.004+11:00

"They start in my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes, I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for awhile now

Just take your time, wherever you go

But what am I gonna say

when you make me feel this way?

I just mm.. "

- : ^ ~ * = * ~ ^ : -

For now, only Chociz will understand why =)

wish you were here so we could just talk, give me hugs and camwhore!

I love how now you are just a text or a phone call away that doesn't cost a fortune! =)

"But if my greatest fears paints itself so crystal clear, will I run away or will I hide?"

2009-03-23T17:45:00.003+11:00

There's so many things to do!

I know, I did take up some of those things at my own will. Like for example: my VCE solo dance. But, some of the other things (english descriptive writing, packing because I have to move on the first week of the hols etc.) just appeared and now I need to make sure I am able to finish them by a certain date.

Sigh.

There's also just thoughts and things I wanna do soon. I NEED a job because I'm using too much money; I want to help out in Fungus' Musical (choreo-ing a dance); I really wanna join the Fungus' Got Talent but I have no idea whether to sing or dance because dancing is my no. 1 choice but there isn't enough space in the sanctuary (i don't think) to do the solo i'm working on in VCE so if I want to dance I think I would probably need to choreo another dance and I don't know if I'm able to do that!

I really, really, really want to dance in Fungus' Got Talent! I don't wanna see an opportunity for me to dance pass right in front of my face and not grab onto it! There's going to be a point in my life when I would have to stop dancing and that's why I don't want to lose any opportunities now when I can dance! Why can't I just do what I enjoy doing everyday. That's why I want my own dance studio. I can just go there and dance whenever I feel like it. But this isn't gonna even matter when I'm able to afford it cause I won't be able to dance as much anymore by then, I reckon.

Bugaboo! =(

Incomplete Lullaby

2009-03-22T21:03:00.003+11:00

"When you stopped and held me close

Inside I nearly froze

Your touch is almost healing

You left me feeling

Tired

Could not close my eyes

On fire

But frozen inside

To run or to hide

Speechless

My words could not melt

Whisper

I wanted to shout

Without you I felt

Like a setting sun

Like a last goodbye

Like an incomplete lullaby"

~Lisa Mitchell

It was a beautiful day; spent with beautiful people

2009-03-15T21:17:00.008+11:00

I had an awesome Friday! =DD

Below is my favourite picture of the day! She's so freaking hot =.=

- ~ . * - ~ . * . ~ - * . ~ -

It was beautiful & sunny outside

Jacque & I took pics during recess

She loves me ;P

- ~ . * - ~ . * . ~ - * . ~ -

Met up with Samantha Claire at Box Hill after school & we went to the food court for Sam to eat her lunch and have coffee!

Then we met Roxie & we went to her house to hang out and camwhore! =P

- ~ . * . ~ -

We had alot of fun just hanging around, chatting and camwhoring =)

& also getting thongs from Target ;P haha I love you

s2 s2

Gosh! I miss her so much! I really hope I see her again on Tuesday! =)

Brainstorminggg..

2009-03-10T17:54:00.008+11:00

I spoke to Michelle Clark, my dance teacher in school, about the idea Paul and I had. She gave us a few suggestions and all that. I figured out that I needed to organize my thinking a little bit. So here goes..

Why did we first come up with this idea? (Aim)
What do we want to present? (Theme/storyline)
Who would we show it to? (Target market)
Why would they want to watch this?
Who would sponsor us?
Why would they want to sponsor us?
How would we present this?
Where would we present this?
How many presentations will we give?
When do we want to present this?

Lalala brainstorming time =) I'm hungryy.. Starving actually! & we're most probably going to watch He's not that into you later =DD hehe Gotta go check times and eat dinner =DD

One word: Dance!

2009-03-08T12:18:00.006+11:00

Last night, Jacque and I went to Complexions contemporary ballet which was at the State Theatre. And it was absolutely AMAZING! I'm not just saying it because I like dancing either.

Especially the last dance that was a piece with U2 songs and I nearly cried watching it! It was beautiful!

I feel really inspired after watching the ballet and I was chatting with Paul Koh yesterday night and a few ideas came up. I won't say for certain what we're planning on doing cause we're not sure too but it's def gonna involve photography and dance! But, I'm really excited to get this to work and it would be just a great experience to put my one of my wild, random ideas into works! It would be quite a big thing for me and I really hope it would work out!

We still need to work out and details and I need to brainstorm ALOT! We also need to think of a way to make it unique and awesome!!

But, I'm really really really excited and I don't feel like doing my homework now. LOLs

Anyways, these are some photos we took after the ballet. Most of them are on fb =D

Jacque told me secret.. Complexions was awesome!! ;P

Complexions program =)

Jacque with the Arts Centre sign

i love my dress =D

I try hard not to break

2009-02-15T20:17:00.003+11:00

I had a very very emotionally shitty day.. Even though I went to church, everything after was just blaa.. Before this started to happen, I was texting chociz.. I really really felt like just going out with someone to just hang with and have fun but I couldn't think of anyone in Melb whom I could just give a call to talk to. Everyone I thought of would have been busy or doing something then.

I texted chociz cause I knew she would understand: "I hate life now. I'm sick of having to pretend that everything in my life is okay just because people don't wanna be around people who are emo. I wish that I could just call up someone to go out & hang with me but honestly, my mind goes blank when I try to think of someone who wouldn't mind spending time with me even when I'm down, try to cheer me up & just being there for me."

She's awesome.. I love her so much.. I miss her too... I wish sydney was just a 2 hour train ride away.. I would go visit her when I miss her.. Australia's too huge.. =(

Very very very sorry Mich, for not updating for ages

2009-02-12T20:19:00.004+11:00

I started the year absolutely wonderfully!

I saw and caught up with many of my friends
Slept over at Samantha Claire's, Mel's, Hill's (for many many days) and Sam's.
Went to Sam's awesome party and wore a pretty dress that only costs 25ringgit =D & Sam's mom's friend did my make up and did a great job with it!
Went to Thai to get heaps of clothings!
Bought more clothing in PJ and KL =DD
Got an ipod classic
And the thing that made my year already the greatest one: I saw my fellow Cubez with consists of Caffyz (Hilly), Chociz (Sam) & Chiltz (me)

I wished we had more time together. 2 weeks to catch up that 2 years we've been away is nothing. But I have to say, I think I used the time I was given really well. Thank you, Samantha Low and Hillary Ang, for always loving me for who I am. Thank you for not judging my mistakes. And mostly, thank you for always treating me as one of your closest friends eventhough I can't always be there for you. =)

= * ~ : - : ~ * =

School started on the 2nd of Feb, Monday. There's lots of new people and I felt like I'm going to a new school all over again for the first week or so. But now, I'm starting to meet new people and the people I've met are nice. I'm only doing 5 subjects in school (doing Indo on Sat mornings): Yr 12 Dance, Theatre Studies, Methods, Psych and Eng. So far, I like all my subjects and I hope that it continues that way =)

I've had lots to think about recently.. Whether to do Yr 12 Indo or Further and I finally decided on Indo. Then, I had to find music for my first Dance solo. I think I've found my music but I'm not really sure.. I also have to have an Expressive Intention. =/ I hope to start on it soon..

Today, we had our "audition" for BHSSC Cheer this year. It's not an actual audition. It's just to show Michelle and Sam and the other people how well people picked up the choreo. I think it went well. We had like 26 people signing up! Wow!! That's heaps! Last year we only had 8 people in our group! I hope most of the people stay! I mean, I hope all of the people stay! =P We're still planning about how it would run so I'm not really sure. But I'll definitely be helping out!

Fungus starts tmr! Yay! Can't wait to be back! & I can't believe that it's my 2nd last year in Fungus! =/ Haih.. oh welll.. let's not think about that now..

Alrighty.. Satisfied, Michie? ;P

I need to go do my hw! I'll try and update soon.. xx

Finallly.... After 2 whole years!!

2008-12-31T14:59:00.003+11:00

I shall be flying back tonight with daddy, mommy and jean to Msia! Yaaaay! Omg.. I am soooo excitedd!! I wonder if everyone has changed heaps? Hmm.. we shall find out.. =)

I wonder if I have changed!! Let's find out when I get back.. Hahaha.. All you Malaysian people don't bag me if I have the Aussie accent, kay? Haha.. =P

Anyways, I shall be leaving for the airport at about 8 pm, i think? And our flight is like at midnight so yes, we'll celebrate new years at the aiport.. LOL.. Maybe we'll get to see some fireworks from the plane? ;P haha!

that's about now! my internet is being gay because of going over the limit.. I'll update later on my year! =DD Take care people!

Nothing you confess, could make me love you less

2008-12-26T02:08:00.011+11:00

I just spoke to Hilly on msn.. I've not spoken to her in awhile.. She's been busy working and all that this hols and she's not been online.. She's currently in Bangkok with her dad, mom and bro.

Damn it! I freaking miss her.. Just talking to her for that little while - about me going back to Msia; that she's going to bring me out and we'll just sit and talk; and her telling me that I can stay at her house as long as I want (which I know is absolutely true cause her mom told me that I'm always welcomed there). I love Hilly! =)

And also, now Samantha (cousin) is in Japan. Damn. Lucky ass! I wanna be there with her! But at least she's having fun and all. She'll tell me about her adventures when we meet =) She's going to study in Sydney next year and she's going on the 18th of Jan. I know! Only less than 2 weeks to spend with her! O.O Unfairness!! But maybe I'll go visit her in Sydney during the year. That would be fun. Or, she can come visit meeee! =D Even better!

I miss her heaps now just because I was talking to Hill. =/ See, we are 3 in one! Hehe. When I think of one I think of the other. We need a Caffeine, Chilli & Choco sleepover =DD It's long overdue..

Man, it's been nearly 2 years. January 3rd will be the exact date. Omg! I just realised that the nst is on the 3rd. And I'm seeing Hilly again on the 3rd as well! Talk about freakyy! Aaaahh!! ;P

Time sure is weird.. It seems just like yesterday that Hill, Sam & I were at Hill's house for our sleepover all together before I left for Melbourne. That was 2 years ago around this time! O.O Seriously.. Time's got me messed up!

~ . - * - . ~

Oooh.. While I was typing up this post, I was chatting with Alvin! Haha.. I was on a bit of a high ;P No doubt one of the lamest & funniest conversations we've had!

Alvin; Me

hopefully its not awkward tmr. you know the drill right? meetin up with an old friend, haven't seen for ages.. awkward silence fills the air haha

yea, i get what you mean. just ask her questions? like so, do you like rambutans? ;P lol

hahaha LOL rambutans she'll be like.. WHAT? lol

lol and then go "well it rhymes with orang utans" lol

LOL! and that's when she walks away

haha "i was thinking of orang utans and you know and that reminded me of rambutans"

LOL funny la you! my ah mui is real funny!

haha i learnt from the pro - 20% from you. 80% is my own skills =P

hahahahahahhahaa funny!!!

haha thank you. but i'm on a bit of a high =D so maybe that's why. lol that rhymed. i've got your rhyming skills

then later,

haha i'm sooo high, and i don't know whyyy, alvin gor gor is looking up at the sky, because he wants to say hi, to kim who's waving bye lol

HAHAHAHA good one!

yay we shall be rhyming pros =D

haha totally it's family =)

So, I'm sure you were amused by that.. ;P ahhah.. if you didn't get it, well, you need to talk to me more often then! Haha!

Yaay!

2008-12-25T00:15:00.001+11:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! =D

Have an awesome day ahead of you! =)

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind

2008-12-22T02:59:00.002+11:00

Ahh! It's been nearly a week since my last post! Haha.. I've been busy reading.. Yes, love stories.. eheh.. I've finished 'can you keep a secret?', 'singletini' and 'hex and the single girl'. Yay! All lend to me by Mich.. I like Can You Keep a Secret the best but it's also the longest. I'm gonna try read bits of it before I go back to Msia =D

So, Mich went to Msia on Wednesday.. Keean was being gay and emo that night.. I ignored him that night.. ;P I know, mean but oh well..

I had another Christmas dinner thing on Friday night. I made those butterfly wing stuff =D yummy! It was at my aunt's house and as usual, food was great! =)

Then, on Saturday, I had to wake up at 10.30 am because the people wanted to come and see the house and all that and I had to leave the house until 11.30.. bleahh.. I slept late the night before cause I was reading.. ;P Yeap, not good at all! =( I went to blacky square but I kinda came up with some presents then so it wasn't all wasted. I got home at about 12pm. Finished all the butterfly wings. =D Then, we had to to a 2nd hand book store to get our school books. We were kinda late and taking longer than we'd expected and I was late for my date with Juliaa..

I was suppose to meet her at 2.45 but I got there at 3.15pm.. Julia and I had our 'T' date at Box Hill.. =D We had Bubble tea, chips with tomato sauce and we didn't get to eat the Tim Tam I brought. We were suppose to get tiramisu but La Porchetta didn't have it. We had an awesome, awesome time of just catching up. We talked about her work, planning our next date, and I can't remember what else.. We just kinda talked about anything that came up. Really! I can't wait to hang out with Julia again.. =DD Julia had to leave at 5pm. So I went home too. =(

We had a dinner thing at Rachel (Kee)'s house. Yeap, yummy foood again =DD After dinner, Rachel, Jean and I launched into a discussing Twilight series mode I couldn't say most of the stuff that I wanted to talk about but I couldn't cause my sis and Rachel had not read Breaking Dawn! Ahhh! I chatted with Nicole for abit and then we watched some creepy show.. it was really interesting but scary.. not gonna go into details or anything because I don't wanna think about it.. Aughh..

Church service was 10am this morning but we all kinda woke up late. It was weird not to see Mich at church but meh.. didn't stay long. went to forest hill with mom and dad. then I slept until like 8pm. i was tired, okayyy? =P hahaa.. I should go to sleep now too but I don't really feel like it.

Can't wait to go to Msia! About 10 days left.. I've got heaps to do!!!!! Oh nooo!

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why; It's not a question, but a lesson in time

2008-12-16T01:46:00.006+11:00

13th December

We went to the cell Christmas party without mommy & daddy cause they went to dad's work dinner. Rachel Kee and her dad came and pick us up @ 6pm. There was food =DD i like food.. We did lots of karaoke and played with sing star as well! I had to lead carolling which was pretty fun, i guess. Mich and Kimmy Chang was there too. Our voices were pretty sore from all the singing but it was sooo fun! We only got home at like 12.30 am.

I was doing some stuff on my laptop and I only ended up sleeping at 3am.

14th December

I woke up at 9.20am and went to shower.

Went to church at 10am. After church Mich came with us to have lunch. We had Viet food. She said she was full but she ate anyways.. =P Smelt too good for her to resist! Haha! Then, we went to the movie marathon thing for kid leaders. We watched hsm1 - the sing-along version! Hehe.. Was fun =) Then we watched Camp Rock. I had not watched it and it was okay i guess. Typical storyline..

"main girl goes off to music summer camp. she could only afford to go because mom got a job as a cook at the camp. girl who thinks she's not so cool lies about herself to get the popular girls to like her. so one lie leads to another.. she also meets a girl (lets call her girl B) at the very start (and you know from then that they would end up as friends). girl sings and sings really well and famous guy singer hears her sing and 'falls in love' with her voice but by the time he gets a chance to get into the room, she's gone. famous guy is a bit of a spoilt jerk (or acts like it most of the time anyways). he sets out to find the girl with the voice. he meets girl (but has no idea that she's the girl with the voice he's 'fallen in love with'). girl has to continue to lie to everyone. famous guy sings to girl and he slowly changes to not be a jerk. they both start to like each other. then, popular girl (the queen bee) finds out about main girls' lies and is jealous cause famous guy hangs out with main girl and so the queen bee tells everyone about her lies. famous guy gets really hurt and angry at main girl. the only person that would treat her normally is girl B and her friends. queen bee wants to win the final jam. she overheard about 'the voice' that the famous guy is looking for and recognises the song as the main girl's. queen bee puts her bracelet in between main girl's books and accuses her of stealing it. main girl and girl B got banned from all camp activities until the end of final jam. popular girl 2 gets mad with queen bee and quits on last minute for the final jam. popular girl 3 quits too. queen bee performs pretty well but then stuffs up when see that her mom picks up the phone while she is performing. popular girl 2 performs a last minute solo which is really really really good. main girl and girl B interrupts when it was 'the end of final jam' and they end up being allowed to perform. main girl sings the song that was stuck in famous guy's head and he recognises the song and the voice. and then he sings the part which he wrote that goes with main girl's song. and so main girl is forgiven. in the end, popular girl 2 won (typical, for nowadays, the main girl would go 'i didn't win, but it's okay').. and so all is good.. "

very original storyline, right? =P

Anyways, then after the movie we went to the carol thing at church. We had pizza and sang carols. Oooh.. we got glow sticks! I loove those thing =DD Altitude performed pretty well =) Then, we went to see lights in Ivanhoe. And we only got home around 11? yea.. so practically the whole day out of the house.. pheww..

Then I watched 'alot like love'. it's old but it was nice to watch =D

alright, i'm tired.. nights!

I want it to feel like time stopped

2008-12-12T23:21:00.005+11:00

I wanna do something fun.. again..

Today was such useless day. Yeah, was probably my fault for choosing not to do anything. Oh well..

I really really wanna do something fun.. That does not need much money cause I'm broke.. =(

I wanna go to a party.. or the beach.. or a sleep over.. movie marathon (hsm movie marathon!!).. hang out with peoples.. argh.. DANCING! hmm.. or singing - i need to find people who just wanna sing for fun with me..

sigh.. oh well.. i should make some christmas stuff now =P

And the lion fell in love with the lamb

2008-12-11T22:06:00.008+11:00

Yay! I've watched Twilight.. =DD My sis and I got in the cinema just as the movie started.. We didn't get the best seats but it was alright.. Anyways, I liked it.. Even though they changed bits and pieces in the book that I thought that should have been the same in the movie and they didn't put in some parts that I really liked in the book.. My sis and I were going "that wasn't in the book!" and "that didn't happened that way in the book!" when we were watching.. =P

However, as I said, I liked it.. All those people who does not like it, I don't really care and you can keep all your bagging Twilight to yourself. It was good to see it on screen. And interesting to see what the directors did to the story. =) Oh, and I think it was too short.. Hahah.. I like never ending stories so maybe that's just me ;P

I got to say though that they made Edward Cullen look really bad. I think they were trying too hard and overdoing some parts and expressions and stuff. I guess less is more, sometimes?

Our cinema was basically filled with fans, mostly girls, and so whenever someone says something sweet or anything you could hear awwwwws around.. Hehe.. It was pretty fun. Watching the movie with people who were Twilight fans, that is =D LOL And when the credits came on, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner got the biggest cheer =P

I don't know if they are planning to do New Moon movie (I think so?) but I would really like to see it =) As well as Eclipse and Breaking Dawn =DD Hahah..

~ . - * - . ~

So this afternoon I was supposed to go to meet Mich after school ended for her. But she ended at 12.30 instead and she texted me. I was still kinda asleep when she texted me so I ignored it. =P She called me too and my sis.. I called her back and she said that I could go to her house to pick up the storybooks I wanted to lend.. Yes, I go to my friends house to pick up books. Haha..

I went and ate something then I went to Mich's house at about 2.30 I think? Yeap.. So we just kinda bummed around in her room. Chatting about nothing in particular.. Hahah.. Playing with Mich's big bear.. And she came up with the lamest name ever.. Mister Ree.. You kinda have to say it out loud.. Compare it to "mystery" if you didn't get it =P Anyways so now the big bear is called Mister Ree.. Hahah..

Then we went down when Mich's dad and Kelly came home. We had porridge. And we wrote our '12 days of Christmas (Asian version)'. Haha! It's hilarious! Hahah.. I don't know if we wanna post it on your blog and Mich has the list anyways so I'll ask her =P We went on youtube to find an instrumental version to sing to it and try if it worked and I think it was fine =) We kinda bummed around for a bit. I helped Mich peel potatoes (pronounced POH-TAH-TOES) Hahah! Mich will be the only one to get this joke but oh well.. It's worth posting it.. Heheh.. Erm.. bummed aroung with Kelly while Mich cut potatoes. I ate some jelly beans as well.. Yes, I do like the licorice ones.. =P

Mich's mom came home and they all started cooking. Mich's dad came home. They finished cooking and it was time to eat =D We had salmon, french fries, corn (cooked by Michie), cucumbers and I also had egg =) Yummm.. I love food. Heheh.. Then, we went up to her room again.. We had the chocolate I gave her like 2 months ago? Haha.. Irresistibly smooth and it was! Haha.. Melts in your mouth! How yumm! We listened to music and I tied my hair into 5 braids - which I took out when I got back home and retied them into 6 - and we kinda chatted a little =) Then Daddy came and I had to go home =)

Michelle-moments of the day:

Kim ; Mich

Scene 1 (This was before she changed it to Mister Ree):

So, what did you name your bear?

Mr. Bear! (giggles) Very original, right?

Yeahh.. Cause he's not a bear..

Huh? (confused look on face) Really? (turns the bear's head to take a close look)

(stares at Mich with "are you serious?" look and then laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs while saying) Were you seriously saying "really"? Did you really think..?

(laughs) erm.. hehe

Scene 2:

Well, I had this dream, right.. (pauses and think) And i was sleeping..

(cracks up)

(cracks up when she realised what she said)

Erm.. yea.. I didn't know you dreamt while you were asleep (laughs at Mich)

Haha! The funny times I have with you, Mich! =P I'm surprised my cheeks aren't sore from laughing.. love youu!!

Back to where it all started

2008-12-10T13:09:00.003+11:00

In 3 weeks, I shall board the plane and fly back to Malaysia. I can't believe I've not seen you M'sia people in 2 years!

So, I've been writing the list of people I need to bring presents for - I am sooo afraid I might miss out on people.. =/ That reminds me that I should really start working on those presents.. I really hope I get to finish them and wrap them up nicely.. I also need to write down the list of things I need to buy from M'sia.. There's storybooks, ballet stuff, clothes, shoes, make up (mostly for performances, of course), souvenirs for my friends here in Australia.. Far out, I'm gonna go broke! =/ And that reminds me that I have to write down the list of people here that I need to get souvenirs.. Seriously, the amount of people I need to buy stuff here is like never ending.. =P Oh well, you guys better love me! Haha..

I'm getting dizzy just thinking of the things I need to do in 3 weeks.. That's not long! =/ And I've also got other stuff to do.. Oh no! I gotta start then eh? If I don't finish what I'm making, I'm sorry to those who do not get anything from me =( Nah, I'll think of something..

I hope.

~ . = " _ " = . ~

So tonight is Twilight movie time! =D At 6.15 pm! Yay! I decided that sis and I should catch the tram (2 trams, that is) so that we wouldn't have to walk too far. It would take 15 mins longer but I think it'll be easier and it'll get us closer to the place =) It would take us more than an hour to get there by tram. But, it should be alright..

Just gotta wait til my sister gets home from her excursion and then we'll be off.. She's at the zoo.. I wanna go to the zoo, too! But I want everything so, meh.. I'll get over it =P

Update on my life!

2008-12-09T16:19:00.018+11:00

I realized I've not really been blogging much about my life.. So, I decided that I shall. If not for you people to read, just for myself to come back here and read about in the future.. =) The last time I actually blogged about my life would be about my birthday.. That was in July! Shucks! It really seems just like yesterday I was at that party with all my friends! Time sure flies!!

I'll write little bits about what happened since my party and I'll try and just give a brief description for each one =P

- = : * ~ * : = -

16th - 17th of August: I went to our Youth Alpha Retreat. I think there were about 10 of us? Anyways, it was awesome! =DD Quentin got a really really nice place for us to stay too! I wanna go back there.. =P

30th August: Fungus had "Crazy Sex Rally" @ Genazano College - the speaker was great! CIA did a good job, I reckon! =DD

2nd September: I didn't perform in Utassy's Peter and the Wolf and 1, 2, 3! Production. It's a long story and I don't really want to go into detail about it.

9th September: My school, BHSSC, had our VCE Dance Performance. I performed in Jungle (everyone taking Dance as a subject had to be in it), our group dance with Kami, Shanade and Cassie and in cheerleading. Overall, I think we did really really well =D

20th September - 5th October: Was my 3rd term break =D Who doesn't like school holidays eh?

24th September: I stayed over at Mich's house. =) Fun times!!

25th September: CIA outing! Haha! It was great to go out to the park since it started being warm again.. Spring!!

29th - 30th September: I had ballet in the morning.. Kinda stayed there til noon, I think? Don't worry, we had a break! It was because I was gonna do my ballet exam..

1st - 3rd October: I went to the National Theatre for ballet class with examiners. I went with Nikki and Kirsten. We also had a short class at our ballet studio before the classes.. =) Keean thought that I was crazy for doing too much ballet =P I think it was worth it!

11th October: I attended the water baptism. =) My sister got water baptised.. No, I've not been water baptised but I'm kinda thinking of getting water baptised.. I will.. soon..

12th October: I had ballet exam orientation @ Opera Australia. The studio is huuuge! =D I want one in my house ;P hehe

18th October: Kids' Sunday rehearsal for Sparklers =D

19th October: KIDS' SUNDAY!! woohoo! I think Sparklers performed really really well and I'm soo proud of them!! =DD

24th October: I had my Intermediate ballet exam @ Opera Australia @ 9.30am. I had to be at the place by 8.30am for warm up. I had to wake up at 6 am and get my hair done, change into my tights and leo, make sure I've got everything, get mom to send me to station and catch a train there. pheww.. It was my first ballet exam in Australia.. Scaryyy =/ But after my exam, Victoria wagged school and we went out.. =D yay! she loves me.. We went to ikea.. haha.. fun..

25th October: Chris Ong asked me to do a dance to Desert Song by Hillsong so I choreographed stuff and asked Carissa and Wenya if they would like to be in the dance with me.

1st of November: Our 2nd and final rehersal of Desert song before performing the next day! Jenny came and help us. =) Then, I went to visit impact! Youth after that =D

2nd November: We performed Desert song (quite well, I reckon) in 1st and 2nd service =D

9th November: After church, I went out with Erin, Angie and Emily to celebrate Erin's birthday. We went to Camberwell market then we went back to her house to have lunch and hang around. =) Lots of funn!

12th November: I had my Yr11 Dance theory exam.. It went for an hour and a half and most of us finished it within 30-45 minutes. I even tried my best to write slowly!

15th November: Erin came over because we were gonna go to Emily's house together. Emily's mom planned a surprise party for her and we were suppose to arrive around about 7.30pm. We had fun snacking on food, chatting and for me, catching up with my ex-schoolmates, while waiting for her to arrive. She came at about 8.30, I think? She criedd! ahaha.. she was THAT happy! She changed into a pretty dress, opened presents and then we dance! We had cake and ice cream.. Yum!! It was an awesome party! =D Then, Erin's dad came to pick us up and sent me home. I still had the party buzz and wanted to dance even 2 hours after I got home ;P Which was late.. hehe

19th November: I had my Yr 10 exams starting today. I had English. I think I did alright =) Then, I went to Blacky to visit Erin and others. I bought chips for Mich and chips and apple cider for Erin! ;P I got caught by the receptionist person for being in school but ah well.. ;P

20th November: Humanities exam. I went to flying start for Yr 12 dance for like 15 mins. ;P Yes, I wagged. I got my work, though =)

21st November: Math exam and Food exam. I wagged flying start again but only cause I would have had to wait for an hour and a half before it would have start and my teacher wasn't there.

23rd November: Went to Julia's 21st birthday party @ Sofia's Burwood! It was heaps of fun!! =DD

24th November: Last day of my exams! Science and Drama! Hurrah!

25th November: Day off school! Went out with Keean and Erin to check out the t-shirt printing place and to buy the big bear for michelle =D

26th - 27th November: Days off school! and being a major bum =P

28th November: Last day of Yr10!! Yaaay! We did some stupid test thinggies =( But we got our math and science papers back. I got 83% for my science and 96% for my math! yaay! I'm happy =DD Also had Senior performance at night - I was in Dusk Darting and Aftermath =)

29th November: I had 2 senior performances today. But both only for Birds - my toes were sooo sooo sore from doing full on pointe twice in a day! =( We went to the Oops fair for a little while after my matinee performance and I had fairy floss! =D I want mooore! Before my matinee afternoon performance, Ms Hayes (my ballet teacher) gave me my ballet exam results!! Well, I got 71. I'm okay with it now =)

5th December: I woke up at 7.15am to go to my sister's school to buy second hand books for school. They didn't have any of mine =.= waste of time.. then I had to wait for Erin to finish getting interviewed and stuff. I caught up with Bryan and Derek. haha.. funny people.. i miss hanging with them =/ Met with Paul at Blacky station. Went to Eastland. Erin bought my ticket, how nicee! And we watched HSM3! Yaay! It was good! I loved it!! =D Then, Erin and I went to meet Keean. Waited for Nessa to come. Nessa signed the cloth thinggie. We went and buy Mich's gift card and smiggle stuff. La di da... Keean and I went back to my house to get the big bear. =D We walked to Blacky High. Omg! Keean is the most annoying person to walk with! ;P ahaha And that day was sooo hot somemore! He couldn't stop asking "are we there yet?" Anyways, we went to school and surprised Mich and she was happy, I think? ;P haha Then, Keean, Jean and I went to crash at Mich's house. Mich opened her present. I had cup noodles then I had to go home.. I had a junior performance - performing aftermath.

6th December: I went to watch the junior performance.. It was weird and fun! Weird that I was watching not performing.. Hmm.. then we went to the awards thing after.. =) The boys did a really funny performance haha.. erm.. then i went home.. Dad said he didn't wanna send me to Rach's house for her party. So i thought I couldn't go. Then I saw Richard online at 7.15pm. The party was supposed to start at 7.30pm. I asked him why he wasn't at Rach's and he said he has bball. He asked why I'm not at Rach's and I told him no transport. He asked for my address, checked it out on google maps and offered to give me a lift because we lived close by. He said we would have to be a little late but I didn't really care because I wasn't gonna go in the first place. =) So we got there about 9.45pm. We danced. ate. danced. rach cut the cake. danced. had jelly. danced. had muffin and cake. danced. danced. - You get it.. ;P Richard's dad came to pick us up at 12am and we went home =) It awesome! and I had sooo much funn dancing =DD

- = : * ~ * : = -

Pheww.. so that's my life's story for the past few months ;P haha.. well, more or less.. Haha.. Yes, I've been quite busy.. lol.. not anymore since there's no more school.. ehehe..

I'm hungry so I'm gonna go eat.. =P

I'll be back

soon

What my name means =)

2008-12-09T00:26:00.001+11:00

i love doing these things.. i got this from tze quan! =D hehe..

What Kimberlyooiyilyn Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.

You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Blog's had a makeover! =D so leave a msg on my cbox ;P

2008-12-08T23:03:00.004+11:00

Finally! After taking a looong looong time to find a layout that I really like.. And editing all the widgets and gadgets and sooo on.. And making sure I like everything..

I've finally done it! And I really like it..

Yes, it must be the holidays and I've got nothing to do except stuff on my laptop and well, I'm broke.. So, I turned to customizing my blog.. and I gotta say, I'm really proud of myself.. =D

All those people who's going "argh! the girliness.." well, i like it so mehh.. =P

= * - * - * - * =

Kim is going to watch Twilight on Wednesday! Yay! My sis got 2 free tickets to watch it and well since it's totally because of me that she got the tickets she's gotta bring me! =D

It's all the way in South Yarra and I wasn't sure if my parents would let us go.. But, daddy said that we could.. First he offered to drive us there, hang around until the show was over and then drive us home. But, we had to be there at 6.15 pm and I think he wouldn't be able to get home til like 5.45-6pm and also I didn't want him waiting there for like 2 hours! So, I said that we would take public transport there and then he can come pick us up. =) And then he said okay so, done! =DD

i like free stuff =P

but then again, who doesn't? haha

All the men and women merely players

2008-12-06T11:34:00.004+11:00

People will snap..

Sometimes,
you'd never know when it happens

Will you know,

when it happens to
someone sitting right next to you?

Would the person

have to completely lose it

before
you realise something?

Like a rubber band that is pulled to the max and just a slight, tiny movement would make it snap

2008-12-05T23:17:00.010+11:00

Crying out but nobody hears..
Even if they do,

They don't really care..

Let's try explaining the unexplainable, shall we?

Meh..

Takes too much effort..

So tired..

soooo
sooooo tired..

of life

Nobody cares anyways,
so why try?
Why bother?

Just to tire myself out..

for nothing..
no outcome..
no change..
no pain relief..

And then I ask,

What's the point again?

for trying my best?
does that change anything?

Is it worth it?

~ Kim questions the world

but who's gonna answer?
is anyone listening?

True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes

2008-12-03T20:17:00.039+11:00

To every single one of my friends…

Especially dedicated to:
- My 2nd cousin, who I think more of as a close friend, who I've known since we were babies and have developed such a bond in the past 4 years, Samantha Low;
- My close friend, who unselfishly stays up and uses up all her credit in one call just so that I can talk to her at 3 o’clock in the morning about my troubles, Hillary Ang;
- My random, blur close friend, who I've just met and gotten to know in less than 2 years, and who I would do the stupidest things with, just because it's her, Michelle Wong;
- My creative ex-cell leader and friend, who has inspired me to make cards and other stuff; Julia Tan;
- My silly friend, who listens to me talk about everything and nothing and all my complaining nearly everyday, Keean Tan;
- My unique friend, who I always have fun spending time with and just hanging out and chatting, Erin Carrington;
- My school buddy, who I’ve just met this year, who is really different from me but we’re great together somehow; Victoria McDonald.

A friend
* Supports you all the time
* Does not compete with you
* Understands whatever you do
* Tells the truth about yourself
* Empowers you in matters of joy, happiness and fulfillment
* Is genuinely happy for you when things do well
* Is someone to call upon during good times
* Is someone to call upon during bad times
* Knows what you are going through at all times
* Refuses to listen to gossip about you

I thank you all for being there for me. And sometimes, just for trying your best to be there. I know I’m not the best friend in the world and it might seem like I’m taking you for granted sometimes but I just really want you to know that I really appreciate you guys for just accepting me for who I am.

- ~ * - ~ * ~ - *~ -

Samantha Low:

How did we become this close? I have no idea. It may seem like circumstances brought us together – it might have been – but it wasn’t just circumstances that kept us this close til today. In fact, circumstances made us be apart, physically, but somehow we were always close. We could always come back to each other and talk about anything. You may think that you’re telling me too much and complaining too much sometimes but I really enjoy listening to you. Now that I can’t see what’s going on in your life, at least I can listen to it. =)

I miss seeing you 5 times a week at school. I miss writing letters to you just to pass it to you in school. I miss making and giving my ‘name things’ to you just for fun. I miss hanging out in 1U with you when Hilly can’t go (which is always!). I miss going to concerts with you even if it’s just the 2 of us and you can’t find your friend who was suppose to meet you. I miss playing DDR with you on your single dance mat and sharing a homemade ice cream sundae with burnt chocolate on it. Lastly, I really miss teasing you and JW – mostly JW - but I miss how it was my daily routine everyday after school in form 2. =P

And I’ve always found it fascinating how you never really seem to get annoyed with me. ;P Haha!

You’re an awesome friend to have and I would never ever trade you for anything or anyone! You’re hardworking, you try your best in everything and would never hurt anyone on purpose. You’re beautiful just the way you are and I think that’s partially why you have JW (it better not be the only reason if not you can call me and I’ll be on the plane to give him the ‘evil stare’ ;P ). But you’re also beautiful on the inside and you deserve every single good thing that happens in your life!

I love you and I’m always here for you no matter where you are and what you choose. Just remember to inform me when stuff happens, okay, darl? And don’t worry too much! “Don’t be mad or sad, remember me and be glad!” =D *sends virtual hugs*

I can’t wait to go back there and celebrate your birthday with you!!

~ - ~ - ~

Hilly with her darling bf =P Hehe

Hillary Ang:

Happy belated birthday, babe! =)

I just can’t believe that I’ve not seen you for nearly 2 years. It just seems surreal to be your friend but not be in your life. I feel like I’m the one falling behind in your life in Malaysia. Sometimes I really wish you were just here even if it’s for a second but just be here and give me a hug so that I know that you’re still there. I always worry that something might happen and I won’t find out until it doesn’t matter anymore. (I don’t know if that sentence made sense)

I miss our midnight calls just to talk about boys and how frustrating they are (It was ‘Cake’ and ‘Asparagus’ last time.. ;P ). I miss staying over at your house for 3 days and 2 nights and just hanging out and going high. I miss passing letters to you and Sam in school. I miss watching movies on your old computer and straining to look at the screen. I miss you doing my hair and all that girly stuff. I miss being in the same class with you and sitting next to you everyday. I miss making up names for people just so that they don’t know that we are talking about them. I miss you just being here for me and me being here for you.

You’re a great person to be around and even though some lousy people might find you annoying, I think that they are just jealous that you are different! ;P And cause you are a freak hottie who attracts so many guys! You are always trying to help people and would never mean to hurt anyone! Never stop doing silly stuff because when you do, you know that you’re getting old! Haha..

You know that I love you and I’ll be here for you even though we’re separated by the ocean. Even if you’re gonna be the only one of the 3 of us left in Malaysia for Form 5, you’re gonna be fine in SPM and you’re probably the one that handles stress the best amongst us 3! I’ll be waiting for you to come to Melbourne to study med, okay? ;P I’ve got heaps to tell you but it’s just not the same when we can’t see each other.. We’ll catch up when I stay over! =D

Oh! And don’t forget – I love you the MOST! Even more than Ad! ;P hehehe..

xoxo

~ - ~ - ~

Michelle Wong:

What can I say about you?

You put a smile on my face. You’re loud and I’m loud (sometimes). ;P You make me do the silliest things ever that should not be mentioned in this blog to safe my face but you know what I’m talking about. Other than just the hyper, silly things we do together, we also talk about stuff we don’t usually tell other people. I think that when you’re comfortable to go crazy with someone and also speak to each other about anything, that’s something special.

You literally know nearly everything about me unless I’m keeping it from you for a good reason or I just forget to tell you. You’ve listened to all my stories for about 3 times in average because you’re always there when I tell my story again to someone else. I tell you anything that pops up into my mind, just because and you listen no matter what. =)

I really miss receiving bumper stickers from you! I used to get like 20 in one go but you deactivated your Facebook account. Go and activate your account and send me more!! I miss sending bumper stickers that would remind me of you. Now, I’ve got hardly anything to do on facebook and I hardly even go onto bumper stickers anymore.. =(

Anyways, I know I have my flaws and you do get frustrated with me sometimes, but I wanna thank you so much for putting up with me and hanging with me anyways =) I am so lucky to have a friend like you who does not care that I do silly and stupid things, mainly because you do sillier and stupider things but I’m glad that there’s hardly ever a dull moment when I’m with you!

I’ll be honest and say that I do get annoyed at you, sometimes but we hang out so much that it’s kinda only natural that I do. I guess if I get annoyed at you it means that I care enough about you to take my time to be annoyed? (I hope that made sense!)

I thank you so much for just being a friend to me. I’m sure going to miss living so close to you when I move. =( No matter what, know that I care for you and I’ll be here. I pray that our friendship will grow and will not die out =) Never let anyone bring you down. They aren’t worth being upset for. I also just wanna say sorry if I’ve ever hurt you in any way.

ily, squiny! ;P

~ - ~ - ~

Julia Tan:

As I said in your birthday present, if feels like I’ve known you for a really long time but I’ve actually only known you for less than 2 years! I guess sometimes you just click with certain people just like that.

I really miss having you as a tribe leader. I miss having our discussions, questions, answers and all that ;P I couldn’t have asked for a better tribe leader! I’m really proud to have been one of your ‘girls’. It’s kinda sad that I couldn’t be in Impact youth for longer but I hope that I can still one of your ‘girls’ anyways. Thank you for teaching me so much not only about being a Christian but about various other things as well!

I love all the little notes, cards and bookmarks that you make for me! Even though you make heaps of them you never fail to personalize each one! I envy that you take so much time and effort to bless so many people around you.. I honestly really, really love the birthday present you gave to me and it is soooo Julia to give stuff like that to me! ;P Not in a bad way! Oh, and the speech that you gave during my party was bea-u-tiful!

Thank you for being my friend. You’ve just been a blessing to me. You’re always there to listen to anything that’s bothering me. I love the time when we just went out just to catch up and had coffee, chips and chicken salt! =P There’s always something to tell you and to say to you and it never gets awkward! =) Maybe it’s also cause you’re one of the people who get my lame jokes! Haha! ;P Thanks also for watching my ballet performances! I know some of them can get looong and boring but you sit through it without complaining.. You really are my No. 1 fan! =D

I apologize if I ever did or said anything that might have hurt you or offended you. And I know I’m not the best friend in the world or whatever but I really appreciate having you as a friend.. Also, thanks so much for inviting me to your birthday party and giving me a reason to dress up! =P

I can’t wait for our ‘T’ day! =D I’m sure we’ll have fun catching up and drinking tea and I can’t remember what else.. ;P

Love you so much!!! xx

~ - ~ - ~

Keean trying to be cool, unsuccessfully =P

Keean Tan:

About Keean.. The guy that lives like 2 minutes from my school.. Hmm.. And well, we chat on msn nearly everyday. I’m surprised you’re not sick of me yet! Maybe you are.. ;P LOL! Thanks for listening to me talk and complain about everything.. And most of the time you’re actually listening and you remember stuff! Surprisingly!

You’re just one of those people that are fun to talk to online – most of the time.. Except when you play dota without telling and I’m left there talking to myself for like 30 minutes! - Okayyy, maybe not for that long but still! Ditcher! =P I have fun bagging you about everything and anything.. And you bag me about random things as well.. Oh btw, I just read Audrey’s blog about the cheese LOL! THAT was funnyyy!! Homebrand’s been-through-heaps-of-processing-before-it-is-packed-and-is-qualified-to-be-sold cheese! LOL! =P

Anyways, you can get quite annoying at times.. And frustrating.. And blurr.. And you can ask the stupidest questions.. Yes, I do get pissed at you quite abit.. But you’re generally a good friend, for a guy.. =P And you try and cheer me when I’m feeling emo so I can’t really complain about a friend like you.. I’m sorry if I say things that are too mean but you know I don’t really mean it.. =)

Thanks for letting me go to house because there wasn’t a bus and I didn’t wanna walk to the tram stop.. =) And also letting Kami and your beloved, Nathan, to drop by as well. =P Haha! Fun times! =D Except you just play dota most of the time.. =.= But I get to steal your lollies so it’s ok! =D Having fun eating licorice, Keean? =P Haha!

Well, there’s nothing much to say that wouldn’t be bagging you somemore and I wanna be nice so I won’t say it.. =P

Thanks for being my friend, Keean!! =)

Oh, by the way, you define gay. ;P LOL

~ - ~ - ~

Erin Carrington:

Erin, Erin, Erin..

I seriously can’t even remember how we became friends! It seems like one second you were ignoring me on our first few days and then the next second we’re hanging out like old mates!

I’m just glad to have you as a friend. I always have fun hanging out with you. You’re funny, different and you always have something to tell me. =) You’re someone I know I can always ask if I wanna go out somewhere and you’ll try your absolute best to help me. I really enjoy going shopping with you and just hanging out and eating. =D I love talking to you just about whatever that comes up.

I’m sorry that we were only in the same school for a year. Wish it could’ve been longer but we hardly have any trouble hanging out even though we’re not in the same school, so I shouldn’t even be complaining, eh? =P I don’t know why we’re so close but I guess sometimes things just turn out this way?

I just wanna say sorry if I hurt you in any way at all. I’m sorry if I had other things to do and had to put that before you. And I’m sorry if I hadn’t been a good friend to you.

I really wanna thank you so much for being a friend to me. Thank you for going out with me whenever I needed to go shopping. Thanks for dealing with me when you have to wait for me to make up my mind about what I wanted to buy. Thanks for coming with me to Pilates when I wanted to go try it for the first time. Thanks for inviting me to your small birthday gathering – that made me feel special! And lastly, thanks for liking me for who I am.

You always make me laugh and I always have an awesome time with you! Don’t ever let anyone put you down because you deserve much more than just that! =) Can’t wait to watch HSM3 with you! Thanks so so so so so much for paying for me! =)

I love you, Erin! *hugs*

~ - ~ - ~

Victoria McDonald:

It’s funny how we’ve only known each other for less than a year but the year has gone by really quickly as well! A year is sooo long but it feels so short! Haha.. I’m confusing you, aren’t I?

I think it’s awesomely cool that we’ve become good friends because we’re both so different in some ways! Just the way we look is sooo different! ;P Also the things we’re into are different! I like dancing and performing and all that kinda thing and you would never even think twice about cheerleading and performing. The type of music that we listen to is like completely different, too! However, we both do like window shopping, a lot! We like chips! We’re mostly quiet unless we know the person. And we both enjoy each other’s company. =D

I’ve had heaps of fun with you this year! I really love spending lunch and recess with you (even though you weren’t there for like half the time ;P ) and just taking like a hundred weird and random pictures on photobooth. I like just spending time with you, hanging out after school, wagging school just to come to my house, going out after my ballet exam just because and so on.. ;P

You’ve been a great friend to me and I can’t imagine my school year in Year 10 without you around! Thanks for hanging out with me and making my school days more bearable! Lots of people don’t take the time to get to know you and they would just miss out on getting to know a great friend! =)

I hope that we’ll still hang out as much next year even though there’s gonna be more people coming and all that. I really hope that I like philosophy and so that we can at least be in 1 class together for the first time! =P

Love you! =)

P.S. When am I going to your house? ;P We’re going to have chips and gravy, remember?

- ~ * - ~ * ~ - *~ -

I thank you all,

for just being
my friend.

Suffocating in my sorrows

2008-11-29T23:26:00.003+11:00

So I got a Merit for my Intermediate ballet exam - 71/100.

I know that that exam is hard to get a good mark in and I should be happy about my result but, I somehow feel disappointed about how I did. I know, I'm freaking psycho! But I really, really can't help it!

My brain tells me that I did well but,

my heart is

hurting

so much

that I

can hardly breathe

...

Why? I do not understand.. I should be happy. Maybe I'll just never be satisfied with what I have.

Or maybe,
it's just a fact that I'm realising;

that I'm not a good enough dancer

that I wanna be?

2008-11-03T21:40:00.002+11:00

1. The last person to tag you is?
Sammie!

2. Your relationship with her?
She's my babe! ;P ahaha..

3. Your 5 impression towards her?
- smart
- really really neat and tidy
- hot!
- fun
- loving

4. The most memorable thing that she has ever done for you?
Just being there for me and being my friend.. =)

5. The most memorable words that she said to you?
"We're going shopping when you come back!"

6. If she becomes your lover, you will
Hm.. that would be interesting.. ;P

7. IF she becomes your enemy, you will
I will cry.. =(

8. If he becomes your lover, he has to improve on -
Living too far away from me ;P

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason is -

I love her too much...

10. The most desirable thing you've done for him?
I don't know?

11. Overall impression towards him is...
Awesome person

12. What do people feel about you when you're around them?
Random, loud

13. What is your character like?

I can be quiet when I want to and loud when I want to

14. On contrary, whats the one thing you hate about your character?
Nothing

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
-

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something to them.
Lalalalala

17. Bras or panties?
Both =P

18. Chocolate or ice-cream?
Ice cream with chocolate sauce! =DD

19. 10 people to tag -
No one reads my blog anyways.. ;P

Quotes

2008-11-03T16:53:00.004+11:00

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down.

Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

There must be more to life than having everything.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne

2008-09-04T23:37:00.000+10:00

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...

I have awesome people around me

2008-08-05T20:32:00.004+10:00

There's no other way of describing you guys.
Thank you so much! =D

~ . ~ . ~

This is about my sweet 16th birthday. It was definitely sweet!

I celebrated my birthday 5 times this year - only one of which was actually planned on my own. I had 4 birthday cakes - also only one was booked by myself (or my mom and I). =) You guys are just great!

On the 27th of July which was a Sunday, Ruth, the rest of Sparklers and some other church people suprised me after 1st service with a chocolate cake. I also was given a photo of the whole of Sparklers as my present from Sparklers. =) Thank you so much Ruth for organising it and making it happen! Gotta love Sparklers!

~ ~ ~

On the 30th of July which was a Wednesday, I celebrated my birthday with my family. We had Indonesian food. It was really good but extremely spicy! Like, no joke! But it was pretty good food so it was worth it! =D

~ ~ ~

On my birthday, the 31st of July which was a Thursday, Kami and the rest of my friends in school organising a suprise birthday cake for me as well. When I was at the toilet with Victoria (which was a way for her to get me away from the cafeteria for awhile), the lit the candles and they candles melted nearly all the way down to the cake! They had to get a couple of people to sneakily bring me to the caf ASAP! When I stepped into the caf, the whole group of people on the table sang 'Happy Birthday' and we had some chocolate cake. =) It was the same cake as the one I had at church but it was melted from the candles (or wax) so it was yummy! It was great! Love you Kami and others for organising it! Oh! And according to Kami, it's really hard to hide things from me cause I'm really observant. ;P Haha! That was funny!

~ ~ ~

On the 1st of August, after Fungus finished their activities, I was soooo excited because we were going to suprise Tony whose birthday is on the 2nd of Aug. Little did I know that they planned and bought a cake for me as well! So yeah.. The lights went down and they started singing 'Happy birthday'. I kinda planned this for Tony so I wasn't suprised. But I was suprised when I saw 2 cakes! One was carried by Keith and the other by Keean. I was kinda blurr even when they sang 'Happy birthday to Tony and Kim' but Michelle pushed me forward cause Keean could not find me and he was saying 'I can't find my person! I lost my person!' LOL That was funny! ;P So I blew the candles out and cut the cake. Then, Michelle and I ran off to look at the transport list. Keith called me to the cakes to ask me to cut the cakes. It was a pretty good cake. Strawberry cake - it had like pink, strawberry cream in the middle. I think they chose that because I like pink? ;P Haha! It was quite a good suprise? Tony was happy too, I think, so yeah.. =)

~ ~ ~

On the 3rd of August (the day that I've been looking forward to for about a week because that was when I started planning for it and inviting people) which was a Sunday, I had planned a birthday celebration with over 40 of my friends. The people who ended up turning up were:

Fungus: Michelle, Keean, Nessa, Tony, Keith H, Wenya, Carissa, Pete, Steph, Shaun, Gabriel, Daniel, Franny, Kevin C, Chris Ong Jr., Jasmine, Kimmy, Grace & Jenny

impact! Youth: Julia, Penguin, Jaymee, Grace D, Yeeren, Alex, Aaron, Danny & Sally

Blacky: Victor, Terence, Derek, Bryan, Erin, Nikkie & Emily

BHSSC: Kami, Nathan, Allysha & Victoria

Others: Sis, bro & Esther

It was a good party!

I planned out a game for people to meet people they don't know. It went pretty well. I had prepared punishments for people who didn't talk to their person but I didn't have to use the punishments. However, there were a couple of guys who wanted to do the punishments. I think the people who did the 'punishments' just for fun were Kevin C, Keean, Daniel, Shaun and Nathan. It was really funny and that acted like an ice breaker. =)

We sat and ate and there were a few combined tables and I was so proud to see my friends talking to people they didn't know. =) As I said, I know awesome people so they got along well. We took a few pictures and chatted.

Then, it was speech time. I had asked 5 people; Julia-representing impact!, Keean-representing Fungus, Erin-representing Blacky, Kami-representing BHSSC and Mich (representing herself)to give me a speech. But on the night, Keean decided to get other people in Fungus a chance to say something. The others were Keith, Tony, Pete, Kimmy, Nessa, Steph (who actually didn't go up and say read it out but Daniel did for her. But it's ok) and Daniel. Then, Keean, Daniel and Shaun sang one of their Altitude songs. =P My brother, sister and Victor also jumped up and said something. After that they got me to say a speech but it was a short one.

We mingled around.. Took more photos.. I gave out my 'Thank you cards'. Then we had cake. =) Chatted. Took photos.

Said bye and people started going home.

When I got home, after getting online, I started opening my presents. =) We got home at about 10.30? I opened my presents til after 12.30 and I was wrecked! It was an awesome, awesome, awesome party! Most people were talking to people they didn't know and it was just great! =) Thank you all who came to my party!

Haha! Kami and I skipped the first class on Monday and Victoria didn't go to school at all on Monday. ;P

I'll post about my presents when I've had a good look at them =)

~ ~ ~

Once again, thank you guys! It was the best birthday I had so far! Thanks for all who were in any of the celebrations listed above =D

2008-04-07T20:38:00.003+10:00

I can't define what makes a guy hot.

Cause I haven't seen one yet.

~stolen from Maria

My dream day

2008-04-04T01:50:00.005+11:00

All I want is to hang with my friends somewhere that's peaceful and calm for a whole day. Just hang and do nothing that was planned beforehand.

Sounds simple.

But nowadays, everyone's busy.

Always doing something else that is more important.

Something I just realized..

2008-04-02T12:52:00.004+11:00

I watched Step up 2 on Tuesday and it was an awesome movie but I didn't even think about the movie afterwards.

Sigh..

What's wrong with me?

You can be surrounded by people you know but still feel lonely

2008-04-02T10:17:00.003+11:00

I haven't blogged in ages.. I know.. Here you go, Sam.. I'm updating my blog..

I feel so stupid, sometimes. I should have known better. I know.. But, for some things in life, we can't really help it if it happens. It's just the way we deal with it, I guess. How I do wish that it would not happen, though. Makes life more complicated and confusing. As if life was not complicated enough already.

I know I don't make sense. Boo.. You're not suppose to know what is it about. If you do, you know too much..

Sigh.. I realized this year how much alone I felt. It's always been hard for me to make friends. Not so much the general friends you meet and say hi and hang around for a little while. More of the actual friends who are close to you. And you become one of the first people they would turn to for help, advice or just for someone to listen to them. I realized that if something happened to me, I wouldn't know who to go to. I realized that I didn't have my first-person-I-would-turn-to person. Cause I realized that the first people I would turn to would be the 2 closest friends I left in Malaysia.

I don't know why but no matter how hard I try to find anyone who could be nearly as close to me as you both are, I can't. I definitely don't want to replace you guys. I just want someone who would have 3 day sleepovers with me and not get sick of me, go crazy and hyper with me but still I'm able to tell them about my life and not feel uncomfortable. But you both know how hard it is for me to put so much trust on people. I just, I don't know..

In the surface, I might act like everything is okay and I'm fine. I am happy with my life now, I am! I just sometimes wish I could find one person here that would be my person just so that I could miss you guys less and not feel so much like an outcast.

Never have I wanted you both to be here with me so much! I feel lonely.. I feel so upset and confused and I don't know who to turn to.

Sam and Hill, I really miss you both so much..

Love you both,

Lyn s2

Dedicated to Samantha Claire because she says so ;P

2007-12-28T22:26:00.000+11:00

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:

Fly all my close friends to Australia (with no return tickets so that you guys have to stay here with me) ;P
Fly to Malaysia - to go shopping & to see you guys if No.1 is impossible!!
Cash, gift card and/or movie tickets!
Lots of dancewear!!!
Butterfly stuff!! =)

The person who tagged you this:

Samantha Claire

Your 5 impressions of her:

Pretty (thought she doesn't think so)
Organised!!
Loves shopping! (One reason why I love her so much) ;P
Creative
Misses me? ;P (I hope)

Most memorable things she has given/done for you:

I can go crazily hyper and she won't mind and she'll go hyper too. And I love that she's just there just to hang around and be with me.

If she becomes my lover, I will:

O.O Ask God if He really wants this to happen.

If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:

That I didn't go back to Malaysia for years and she misses me too much and therefore she is mad at me. ;P

Pass the quiz to the people that you wish to know how they feel about you:

Samantha Claire
Sammie (cousin)
Hilly
Kate
Marcia
Tony

Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause

2007-08-11T10:36:00.000+10:00

I actually don't see any point in actually updating my blog much anymore cause nobody reads my blog anymore. Okay.. Except Kate, Marcia, Sam (cousin) and Sze Rong- sometimes, when he's bored only. ;P Haha! I finally added you, Sze Rong! I couldn't see my template stuff for awhile cause my internet was so slow.. & it's not just an excuse. However lazy I am I'm not that lazy. ;P

Marcia! Thanks! Though it was late but it's the thought that counts! =) Hmm.. Well, I'm doing pretty alright here. School's okay.. Dance is AWESOME!! (as usual!) I'm taking dance as a sport in school for this semester. And there's gonna be a performance thing, Kid's Kaberet, in September. It's gonna be for kindy kids! Gonna be fun! I'm gonna be a hunter, a hippo, a skin person and I don't know what more! I've also got a Rain solo and I'm also in Don Quixote (my teacher asked me to join the older class for this cause they needed more people and it's en pointe! I sprained my ankle about a month ago and it's still not better! I really need to practice en pointe!! But I'm just gonna leave it up to God. It's awesome, btw.) Hmm.. And we've got a common test this term. Hmm.. So not looking forward to it! Argh!! Hmm.. And I think that's about it. Oh!! I joined my youth group's dance and drama ministry (obviously ;P ), the worship team (singing!) and the welcoming team (it's pretty easy so yeah..)

I really should go.. I've got loads and loads of homework and I've hardly started!!! I'm getting so lazy.. All your fault! =P

Yes, you!

Hmm..

I should go!!

P.S. Those of you who have never heard Hosanna from Hillsong United.. GO LISTEN TO IT NOW!! -click on Hosanna for the one on myspace(music only) and click on LISTEN for the one on youtube(with video)- Enjoy! =D

I'm 15! =)

2007-07-31T00:05:00.000+10:00

Thank you so much, Sam! I love it! Though you think it's not as good but still, it's the thought that counts! =) Love you loads!

2007-07-21T23:29:00.000+10:00

10 days to my bday!! =D

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

2007-06-07T22:21:00.000+10:00

For the cold, windy winter, guess what I got? It has something to do with dance & heat. =P

LEG WARMERS!!

Yay!

Haha! I am a total nutcase for dancewear, incase you didn't know. ;P Or anything that looks dancey-ish.

Hmm.. And guess what colours I got them in?

Black

Guess?? I'll give you a clue..

It's my favourite colour. =P

That's right!

PINK!

Haha!

Hmm.. I love dancewear! =) Oh! And the leg warmers are warm too!! Well, they should be.. ;P It's their purpose. =)

Now I want black dance tights.. ;P

Prove me wrong.

2007-06-06T20:51:00.000+10:00

Everyone judges without really knowing the truth.

No?

You don't agree?

I'm glad to be proven wrong.

Dance, anyone?

2007-05-06T17:56:00.000+10:00

Hip hop or Funk, anyone?

Street latin?

Jazz?

Contemporary?

Popping and locking?

Lyrical?

So many dances i seem to want to learn. "How to pick? Which one first? Can I possible learn them all? Where to learn them? Where is a good place? How much will it cost to learn them?" So many questions.. But I remember something. My mom always said, "In this world, nothing is impossible." And my dad, "In high school, if there's anything you like to join or do, do it! If not, you'll regret when you grow older."

So, anyone? Up to join me for dancing? ;P

p/s. Make sure you actually live in Australia to join me! =) Others back in Malaysia, gotta find your own!! =P

2007-05-05T23:22:00.000+10:00

Who needs friends who aren't trustworthy when you have a brother you can't trust?

No Greater Love

2007-04-29T13:04:00.000+10:00

The Cross, the thorns

The blood, the stripes and the shame

The crowds, the scorns

They struck Him again and again

No greater love than this

That a king would give his life for me

No greater words than this

When love cried out, "Father forgive!"

Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life

Out of the darkness and into the light

We have been called

We have been saved

His blood the price, we're made alive

in Christ

The Word, the Light

All truth, all grace comes live

The man, the Christ

The perfect sacrifice

No greater love than this

That a man would give him life for a friend

No greater words than this

"I'll be with you, always, to the end!"

Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life

Out of the darkness into the light

We have been called

We have been saved

His blood the price, we're made alive

In Christ

Lyrics by, Kay Lee

Music by, San Weng Onn

2007-04-28T18:38:00.000+10:00

I miss you...

Shouting.

2007-04-25T20:02:00.000+10:00

I hate it when my parents shout.

If they shout at my siblings and I, it's usually because of something we did. Yes, maybe we did something wrong. But, they don't have to shout at us! It can get very, very irritating at times. Especially when you are in the middle of doing something.

Let's say, one morning, you are in a good mood. You decide to start on a short story you have to hand in that week. Once you started on the story, all the ideas came to you! You were typing and typing and typing. Then, your mom comes in and shouts at you about something. After that, she goes away. You look back at your computer and you can't help but to feel so drained out. You really don't feel like doing your homework anymore. And besides, all the ideas are gone from your head after all the shouting.

Although, it is not really that bad compared to your parents shouting at each other. I hate it when that happens!

I really do.

It's not that it irritates me more than my parents shouting me. It's just scary. Very scary. I mean, what if suddenly, one of them decided they were arguing too much and can't live with the other anymore? It nearly happened once when I was really young and it just scares me that it would happen again and this time my dad won't say sorry.

How can you be over something if it still hurt you?

2007-04-22T19:01:00.000+10:00

When something happens, something we don't expect, something bad, most of the time, our brains try to act as if it never did happen. We go about our days like normal. It never happened, we tell ourself, we lie to ourself. Though, nothing will change the fact, it did happen. Nothing will change it. Not lying. Not pretending. Nothing will. But, there's no doubt, everyone likes to have hope that a certain bad thing, did not happen. We, humans live in hope. Our brains lie to ourself, hoping a miracle will happen to help cover up the truth.

But, you'll never be able to lie forever. Not even to yourself. Reality shows it's ugly face and you begin to realise. It strucks you like a lightning bolt, bringing you out of fantasy land and back into earth. It has happened! You feel the hurt, the pain, the lost, the loneliness. You start to cry. The whole time, it hurts like someone stabbed a hole into your heart. But, somehow, the knife is plunging deeper and deeper. You can't breathe! You feel suffocated! This goes on for hours. And as you cry, you begin to feel relief. All the pain you've been holding back seem to flow away with your tears. You feel exhausted and rather calm as you fall into a dreamless sleep.

You wake up the next day. It's a brand new day! And a brand new start of your life. You've released all the pain in you and it's time to move on. Friends seem to keep you going. They keep you up and your happy self. And you're life is busy. So many things to do! So many things to finish! So many things to learn! You go on with your life. Though there's something missing in your heart, everyone could hardly tell the difference.

Days pass. Months pass. I'm over it, you tell yourself. I can talk about it and I don't feel sad about it anymore. I'm over it!

Suddenly, one day, you sit down and think of it. Look through stuff that is related to it. I am over it anyways, I can look through these. It doesn't matter. But, as you look through all that, you feel the familiar sensation you felt months ago, the knife plunging into your heart, deeper and deeper and deeper. The feeling that you can't breathe. It suffocates you. It hurts you so much to face the truth. You ask yourself, How can something that doesn't matter to me anymore, hurt me so much? And the answer smacks you in the face,

It does matter to me.

It did for a long time and it still does.

And it will matter to me for a long time.

A very long time.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

Cause it's gone.

GONE.

Holidays are over.. School is back..

2007-04-15T21:07:00.000+10:00

I haven't been blogging for ages!! Haha! Anyways, today is the last day of our autumn holidays. School starts tomorrow! Oh well, I miss ballet, anyways. I had 2 whole weeks of no ballet! I'm getting fat!!

The past week was pretty alright. Most of the time I've been online, chatting, cause there's nothing better to do. I went out with my friends to Forest Hill to watch Mr. Bean on Monday. And we also ended up watching the Ninja Turtle movie as well. It was pretty alright but we ended up spending most of our time we weren't in the cinema in the arcade. The guys wanted to play the games there. I wanted to get the stuffed toy penguin from the machine and Terence wasted 6 bucks for letting me try to get it. He got plenty of sweets instead! =P Haha! Then, on Wednesday, Grace, Victor, Terence, Tony, Bryan, Mark, my sister and I went to play badminton at Boxhill. Later, we went to the arcade and we played DDR!! =D It was so fun!!

The next Monday, we went out for a lunch at 12 pm a family friend we lost contact with and met again here. We went and eat dim sum!! I haven't eaten that for so long!! It was pretty good. =) We were all talking alot. We stayed in the restaurant a bit too long as the waitresses started telling us that the people who booked the tables next were here. Then, after that we went out to a park to chit chat. I had a vanilla milkshake! =D We ended up going home at about 4 pm!! On Tuesday, I went to play badminton again with Terence and his brother, friends and cousins. Later on, Tony and Victor joined us to go to the arcade. I wanted to play DDR again. We only ended playing it a couple of times as there were other people waiting to play it. Tony became so pro in DDR after one week!! Jealous.. =P Haha!

Yesterday, on Saturday, I went for my youth group's first drama and dance practices. The drama, Above All was at 10 am til 12 pm. And we finished learning the whole mime. =) It was pretty cool. And fun! Then, Audrey, the person in charge, asked me whether I wanted to join the other drama as well. She said "I can see that you can pick things up much more quicker than the others but then I guess, dancing helps". I think she needed another person for the drama and we only have 6 weeks to learn, practice and make it loook good!! At 1 to 3 pm, we had dance practice and it was awesome! I haven't danced for like 2 weeks so, I was really looking forward to dance practice. It was fun!! We are performing all 3 performances at camp in July. =D I'm so excited!! I woke up with sore muscles today, though. =P Oh well.. Used to it.

School starts tomorrow. Looking forward but not also.. Holidays are pretty boring but at the same time, school days are pretty tiring. Oh well.. There are things we just have to do, I guess. =) I should go now. Gotta wake up early tomorrow. =) Hope you guys have a great day!!

2007-03-25T13:22:00.000+10:00

Only you and God knows how you're really feeling.
We hide how we are really feeling cause we know nobody else will understand.
Whether it's lonely,
unhappy,
weak,
disappointed,
betrayed,
sad,
pain,
terror,
or emptiness.
Nobody will really understand how you feel.
Except Him.
Learn to trust Him.
With all your heart.
As how you trusted your close friends.
But with Him,
He'll never betray you.
He always keeps his promise.
He loves you.
No matter what,
You'll be precious to Him.
Forever.

2007-03-10T00:11:00.000+11:00

I told you, I'm not in your life anymore.

You said, no I am in your life.

But look at us now.

I am left out of your life.

Totally.

Completely.

And you know what?

It hurts not to know what's going on in your life.

You, not telling me about your day anymore.

Whose fault is it really?

Yours or mine?

Honestly, neither and both.

I'm sorry for not being there for you when I should have.

I regret not being the best that I could be.

I regret not appreciating you enough when I had the chance.

But regret ain't gonna change a thing.

Ever since I came here, all I wanted was to be with you.

To be in your arms and feel like I was wanted, trusted, secure and safe.

You saw who I am inside and who I can be.

You loved me for being me.

My imperfect, selfish and spoilt self.

But it is me.

Plain old me.

And I thank you so much for that.

You taught me so many thing.

Sometimes not even realising so.

And again, I have to say 'thank you' for that.

There's really nothing more I can say.

But, you'll always be someone special.

All our memories together will remain in my heart.

I've got to admit though, it hurts.

I don't know what will happen in the future.

Maybe not again.

But, who knows?

Maybe, again.

We'll just wait and see.

Hope is still in my heart.

I'll meet you there..

2007-01-18T14:19:00.000+11:00

May you have a blessed day
Even if it is without much of me
But I'm still there
Though you can’t see me
I am there
In your heart
I'm thinking of you
Will be thinking of you
Till I see you again
Where the impossible become possible
And anything the greatest
Most creative mind could ever imagine
Would come true
Where anything
And everything could and would happen

I’ll meet you there, baby.
In my sweetest and most memorable dreams.

Love,
Kim.

From This Moment On

2007-01-16T20:12:00.000+11:00

(I do swear that I'll always be there.

I'd give anything and everything

and I will always care.

Through weakness and strength,

happiness and sorrow,

for better, for worse,

I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun

From this moment you are the one

Right beside you is where I belong

From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed

I live only for your happiness

And for your love I'd give my last breath

From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart

Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start

You and I will never be apart

My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment

I will love you as long as I live

From this moment on

By, Shania Twain and Bryan White.

My Flight to Aussie (and how I got to Ormond College)

2007-01-10T23:19:00.000+11:00

My flight to Aussie was on the 3rd at 9.45 pm (Malaysian) so we had to be there at about 7 pm (Malaysian). My dad, my mom and Tim went to KLIA with me to send me off. We were a little late, though cause we went and visit Sam for my sake(It was the last time I'd be seeing Sam till i go back to Malaysia). My friend whom I was travelling with, Chloe, was already there waiting for me. We had to wait really long to check in cause the systems were down for quite awhile. Which was okay, i guess, cause Chloe and i got up graded to business class seats somehow. The air stewardess kinda did a double take before pointing for us to go to the business class section.

Chloe and I didn't even know we given business class seats until we boarded the plane. Just minutes before, Chloe was just teasing the other girls cause their tickets read 'Economy Class' while ours read 'Business Club Class'. I didn't think much of it and by the way she was teasing, i knew she didn't think much of it as well. So, we were kinda suprised when we were pointed to got to the business class section. I told Chloe she should joke more often.

We boarded the plane at about 9.20 pm. Chloe and I were really eager for the plane to depart. So, we were really happy when the plane started moving. Chloe was like, "Why aren't we flying yet?" And we were really disappointed when the plane slowed down. Apparently, there were some technical errors. They served us some snacks and drinks. We only left at about 11.45 to 12 pm (Malaysian) which was like 2 hours later than the time we were suppose to depart. I just thank God that they realised it before we departed.

After we were in the air, Chloe started playing games and i started watching a movie while they served us our dinner which was buns and fruit, satay, prawn salad and beef steak with gravy and potatoes. The air stewardess even asked us whether we wanted desert which was apple and cinnamon something. But, Chloe and I were too full! We didn't even finish our beef steak!

Then, we went to sleep at about 2 am (Malaysian). It was so super comfy! Cause you can put the seats about all the way down. But, the flight was quite shaky so, Chloe kept on jerking out of sleep. I slept pretty well, I guess. I usually can't sleep properly on airplanes, so yeah.

At about 6 am (Malaysian), they turned on the lights to wake up those who want breakfast. They served us buns and all with fruits and juice. Chloe had her favourite, apple juice! While I had orange. After we finished our breakfast it was about time to land.

The landing was painful! At least for me. Both my ears were blocked! And i couldn't hear Chloe a couple of times when she was talking to me. And it was really painful! One thing i hate about flights is that the taking off and landing gives you ear blocks! One ear was really bad. The other not so bad but still blocked!!

Anyways, then we went out of the airplane. And one side of my ear was still blocked! We waited for the other girls to come out. All together there were 10 of us. While we were taking our luggage, we saw a cute little beagle being trained to sniff for illegal stuff. It was really cute. My luggage was easy to spot as I tied a bright purple plastic bag on the handle. Chloe was helping me look for my luggage cause I was taking care of our hand luggages. She was like, "Her luggage has a purple plastis bag tied to it. Oh! There it is!" *grabs the luggage with the help of Mei Li and Jessica. Mei Li saw her luggage go around twice but missed it twice! Finally, the last time, we managed to get it.

Then, we went through the declaration thinggy. And went out to meet the person who was supposed to bring us to the college. Apparently, she has waited for us for 2 hours plus and had to wait for some girls from New Zealand so, we had to get taxis by ourselves. So, we got 2 Maxi taxis, 5 girls in each taxi, to bring us to the college. Our taxi driver didn't know where is Ormond College and was expecting us to know. He was pissed of when HE got to the wrong place and blamed in on us. Luckily, we didn't get lost. The college was only on the opposite side.

Our taxi fee was extra compared to the the other group's fee, though. It was quite alot more. I think nearly ten dollars more. That's expensive. Oh well..

I'll continue my days in Ormond College in another post. I wanna go eat Tim Tams now. And Smith's. (For those people who haven't been to Aussie and have no idea what in the world are Tim Tams and Smith's well, Tim Tams are really absolutely fantastic chocolates and Smith's are really nice yummy chips that you usually can't get in Malaysia unless you know where to get them. And it's really expensive in Malaysia). That was suppose to make your mouth water!

Gotta go now. My stomach's calling out for snacks!

Love ya'll.

Miss me!

2006-10-26T18:04:00.000+10:00

the vet just called just now and sam's ok. just that he has to stay there for a day or two. they have to watch him and all. so yeahh. i guess he'll be fine.

2006-10-26T01:10:00.000+10:00

sorry for not writing for awhile. but i just couldnt get hold of my comp! seriously, when no one is using the comp, it's either i'm out/going out or i'm busy doing something else at home. whenever i'm free, it's either my brother is online or my sister is playing games. oh well..

anyways, i got the exam results for my percentage and all. it's actually quite good cause i got really really really low for history and i still managed a percentage more than 80%. it's okay la. i know all of you smart people got percentages more than 85% and also more than 90%. but i'm not that smart la.

and i went out to ou with sam(cousin), kah yee, grace, tim, chee fai and kah yee's bf, siew wai last friday. we went and watch john tucker must die. jesse metcalfe is so hot!! channing tatum, from she's the man, is not bad. quite hot. and he's gonna be starring in this dance show, step up. i wanna go watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways, then there was the church dedication last sunday. i was supposed to dance. the service was supposed to started at 4 pm. but a few of the us, especially most of the dances were there since 10 am. but, when we went there the auditorium wasnt open. so, we went to the mamak and only went back to church at 11 am. when it was 4 pm, the wasnt any electricity at first and the whole church was praying bout it. someone called tenaga and they said the electricity probably won't come back til bout 5 p.m. but suddenly, we, the dancers, were told to get ready. and so, we danced at the begining of the service. it felt so great to perform. especially for God. and then, i went down to the 4th floor to get my stuff to change into my choir attire - a black collar shirt, black skirt and red scarf. and went back up for service. then, we, the dbd choir, sang to 'let your people rise' at the end of service. and yeahh.. that was it.

then, i went back to ipoh on monday to visit my relatives. my 2 year old cousin, timothy, is so so cute! he was singin high school musical songs. he doesnt know the lyrics but he knows the tune. super cute!!! and his older brother, benjamin, is hsm crazy so timothy must have learnt all the hsm songs through his older brother. there was hsm dance along on tuesday and benjamin and my sis was dancing along to it. so yeahh.. then we came back today in the morning.

oh.. and when we came back from ipoh, we found out sam (my dog) super big wounds on his body. and they were bite wounds. we all figured out it must be rex (my other dog) since there were no other creatures around capable of bitting sam like that. unless the dog that lives in the house on the other side of the road could really jump really high or if a rat could have bitten a wound that big. and sam couldnt walk properly. so my mom is taking him to the vet next morning since the vet isnt open today and i hope he'll be fine.

that's about it, i guess.. yeahh.. i know this post is boring.. but oh well..

i gotta go already.. i'll try to get some interesting stuff to write la. okayy..

2006-10-13T01:06:00.000+10:00

so as most of you know, it's confirm that i'm moving to australia. yeahh.. i'm going early january.. yeahh.. gonna miss lotsa things here in m'sia.. will definately miss all of you people.. i'll miss dj.. and also NSt.. and of course.. the food here.. but i definately won't miss pmr.. well.. duh! whoever with the right mind will?? (sorry to offend those people who will miss pmr..)

anyways, this week was ok, i guess.. i mean, normal for school days to be this boring when it's after finals. but we are forced to go to school cause the teachers are giving back our results and we have to check it, if not nobody will.. so it's really boring in school.. people just talk and talk and talk.. but i prefer to read and read and read.. i don't know why i prefer reading than talking.. maybe it's 'cause i don't really have anything to talk about.. since i talk to my classmates everyday.. but, i do talk to them la.. and when i do talk to them i crap alot (as usual).. which is good..

so.. i got back a few papers already.. all of them are ok.. so far.. except history.. really, really, really low.. don't ask and i'll save you from getting a heart attack.. seriously.. but well, most of you should already know i just cannnot study history. i told my mom (she did not, i repeat, did not get a heart attack) and she said "oh.. never mind la.. if your english, math and science is ok then ok already." she already know i cannot study history.. and also cause i'm moving to australia remember? yeahh.. so i guess moving to australia isn't all that bad..

ooh.. and i finally got a new phone!! i've been waiting since my b'day. and that's like in july! yeahh.. it's pretty ok i guess.. the phone i mean.. not the price.. cause i have to pay myself la.. now still hutang-ing my dad..

oh well.. that's my weeks so far.. i gotta go already!

love ya'll..

2006-10-07T11:09:00.000+10:00

Okay.. i was suppose to go to Sabah somewhere in December to perform for Drunk Before Dawn (a really super cunn musical by SIBKL) because i'm in the DBD choir. and i got picked as one of the 16 girls in the choir to go to Sabah. so yeah.. and was supposed to go there for 4 days.. but, no, my parents won't allow me to go.. Instead, they allow me to go to Melbourne, Australia for a summer ballet camp which lasts for 7 days, not counting the flight days.

Not that i'm complaining ot anything.. but parents have a total different mind-set that i don't understand sometimes.

Oh well.. i prefer dancing anyways and i've heard bout this summer ballet camp for a couple of years now and so it must be good. ooh.. and it's not only ballet.. there's also jazz, contemporary, production and more. so yeahh.. a whole full week of dancing.. i can't wait!! i'm so excited!! eventhough i'm gonna sit at home and get bored (or maybe i'll have fun) while they go to Sabah and perform, i'm gonna dance for 7 whole days so its worth it..

Oh.. and fyi, exams ended yesterday.. therefore you get the after effects of exams on me - hyperness not stop!!! exams were okay i guess..

lets see, the most interesting subject to sit for is... Math! cause i don't mind checking and checking over and over again for Math.. and the most boring subject to sit for is chinese. though i didn't sit for the chinese paper but, we had to sit in the exam room for 3 whole hours waiting for the chinese taking people to finish their exam. and we could bring in books to study but we had to be at our own place. so most of us studied science since we had science paper after that. i wonder how many people actually sucessfully studied during that 3 hours.. I totally salute them.. it was like so hot and the sun was glaring (right into my eyes) and i just wanted to sleep! but i didn't.. i tried my best to study.. the process of studying was more or less like this..

open the book to the chapter i wanna study.
flip the pages to see what i need to study.
found a page.
read 2 or 3 sentences.
try not to close eyes.
daydream for 5 minutes (or more).
realise i should be studying.
read a few sentences (usually consists of the same 2 or 3 sentences).
try not to fall asleep.
close eyes for awhile cause of the glaring sunlight.
open eyes.
read a few sentences and try to understand.
daydream for another 5 minutes.
realise i am not studyin. "must be the boring chapter", i think.

repeat for nearly 3 whole hours and you get how much i studies in there.

like, the only school which does boring things like these is DJ but i still love DJ, anyways. DJ rocks!!!!!!

anyways, i gotta go.. been writting lotsa crap today.. oh well..

The answer to my butterfly-craziness.

2006-10-05T14:57:00.000+10:00

*This story was taken from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul IV. Enjoy!!

Happiness

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Aristotle

I stared at the word I had written at the top of my blank sheet of notebook paper: "Happiness." I was working on a creative-writting asignment my teacher had given the class. We each had to write about a different emotion. That was it, just a slip of paper as we were leaving class. No format at all.

But it wasn't the lack of structure that was bothering me. It was the word "happiness." Anything else I could have handled. Jealousy, I knew that one all too well. I could write pages about jealousy. I could write about my older sister and how she got everything first. Or my best friend, Julie, who always got the guys. . . and the leadin the play. . . and straight A's.

Or pain, I could write novels about pain. Not the kind of pain you get when you break your arm, but the kinda that makes your broken heart go into your throat, so that it takes all of your energy and concentration to breathe. The kind of pain that makes you want to scream and sob at the same time. The kind of pain that makes you want to hurt everyone around you because you're suffering and they're not, because they can breathe without feeling guilty and hold a normal conversation without breaking down into fits and tears or rage.

But I was suppose to write about happiness. How could I, of all people, write about happiness?

There was a knock at my bedroom door.

"Hey, um, Sarah?" asked a small voice from the hall. "Can I come in?"

"Rachie," I said to my five-year-old sister, "I'm kinda busy right now. Can you come back later?"

"Um, this is kinda important."

I sighed. "All right, come in."

Rachele came in and sat down on my bed. She looked so sweet and cute, swinging her black, patent leather Mary Janes back and forth and looking around my room. Her baby-doll face was framed by her curly, red hair. "Well, um, I caught this butterfly. . . ." she began uncertainly. "And it's really pretty. . . but I let it go."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well, it was my favorite-ist butterfly I ever had." Rachele wrinkled her forehead and frowned, as if concentrating really hard. "But. . . I had to let it do 'cause Mommy said it would die. And I was so sad thinking about not having it anymore. But I knew Mommy was right, 'cause if I were the butterfly I wouldn't wanna live in a glass jar. And so I let it go." She turned and looked at me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Well, " she whispered, leaning towards me as if she were about to share a deep, dark secret. "When I set it free, I was glad to see it go. Does that make me a mean person?"

I smiled. "Of course not, Rachie. You were just happy that the butterfly was free and that it wasn't imprisoned in the jar. You felt relieved."

"You mean I'm not mean?" Her face lit up.

"Of course not!" I gave her a hug. "Now you gotta go. I have work to do."

"What do you have to do?" she asked, frowning.

I glanced at my blank paper. "I have to write about happiness."

"Oh, that's easy,"she said and started to leave.

Yeah, real easy, I thought.

"Hey Rachie," I said before she left.

"What?" she turned around at the door.

"What do you think happiness is?"

She frowned and tapped her foot on the ground for a few seconds before answering. And then she gave me her answer.

"Butterflies," she said simply. And she left.

"Buttterflies," I said out loud to myself. I thought about our conversation. She was happy to catch the butterfly and happy to see it go. Maybe she was right. Butterflies bring nothing but happiness. Maybe butterflies aren't exactly the key to happiness, but maybe there is something to be said about the simple things in life, things that brings joy, like snow or wildflowers or a sunny day or the smell of pumpkin pie. Not clothes or guys or keeping score or getting the lead it the play or even good grades. None of those things in themselves will really make you happy. But the little things, like catching and releasing butterflies, just might.

And with that, I started to write.
Written by,
Sarah Provencal

Now you all know the real reason why I love butterflies. Not just because they are nice and all.. Because it reminds me of this story. That the smallest things are the ones that can bring us happiness. Hope you enjoyed the story!

Lantern Festival at SKTM.

2006-09-30T13:32:00.000+10:00

my primary school, sktm, always has this lantern festival every year and its like the event of the year where students, teacher, parents, ex-students and even those not from sktm come and just chill.. this year was really fun.. Nicole and Tim came along and i brought my camera and it was fun taking pics and posing..

well, nicole and tim came to my house first and then we went there.. there was like 8 people (dad, mom, bro, sis, sis' friend, me, tim, nic) in our 7 sitter and my sis and her friend had to share a sit..

anyways, when we reached there it started already and there was many people there.. it was like super havoc cause it was a bunch of kids and teens so yeahh.. and i intro nicole and tim to my friends.. and then, nicole wanted to go and walk with all the small kids so we went la.. and then the picture taking started..

let's see who came and actually hung out with me...

hill
sam
grace
nicole
tim
kah yee
chun hoe
wen kit
wei liam
ben
ian

the last 2 was for awhile only but nvm la.. oh!! and my dear friend philip never even hung out with me..

anyways, we hung round at the assembly area.. and then nicole and hill bought the snow spray thing and sprayed it at nearly everyone.. even me.. well.. what to say? when you go for your primary lantern festival, it sure make you feel young and like a kid!

ok.. la.. i gotta go already..

bout the pics, im super lazy to put it in.. so if u have friendster and have me as a friend go check it out kayy?? its in my profile..

thanks ya'll for the great time!
i hope i can be there for next year too!

No! No! No!

2006-09-29T14:15:00.000+10:00

I know that this is super contradicting to my first post but I can't help how I feel.. Ok. I'll just say it. My dad says we might be moving to Australia the end of this year.

Okaay, okay. It doesn't sound that bad and I already knew a looooooong time ago we were gonna move to Australia but I thought we were moving the end of next year.. At least this was what my parents told us. I was told only recently that we are gonna move so soon..

Okay.. So you might say, "But your parents said might. That mean it's not confirmed." But well, I saw my dad going online to search for details bout Australia and all. Well, you tell me what you think ehh??

It's so unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know, I know, I know.. Whoever said life was fair? But, how would you feel if like, for your whole life you've been keeping to yourself and clamming up all of yourself and suddenly, just recently you've come out of the shell where you've been hiding in to open up to some people you just really trust?? Going to Au would mean going away from the friends I trust. I'm not saying I won't make friends there. I hope I do.. But, I mean, where else can I find friends like you??

And I've already said to myself if i were to go to Au, I won't want to take up ballet anymore.. I mean ballet in Au is good and all.. But maybe its too good for me.. Cause I'm already stressing so so much right here in M'sia.. Don't get me wrong.. I love ballet! I don't know why I stress so much but I just want everything to be perfect.. And the standard there is like super way up high and I don't want to feel so super sad that I can't do what people my age are doing there.. *sigh*

Anyways, it was good getting this off me.. Really, really good..

I just wanna say thanks to you people who are always here for me no matter what.. I just say this since I'm talking bout this..

I'll miss each and everyone of you if I go there.. Thanks for
everything.. Love ya peeps..

Just as my bloggie says,

2006-09-25T00:30:00.000+10:00

Everything's gonna be alright.

Which is true! Really!! No matter how bad your day or week was, everything'll turn out fine.. I mean, there are reasons why those things happen.

I remember when a girl was complaining bout her bad incidents and all, someone said to her, "Well girl, if our lives were all good and perfect, live would be just too boring."

Which might be true! Actually, when you come to think of it, yeahh, it's kinda true.. If suddenly everything started going well and nice and perfect, it'll be weird and no fun! We'll probably start missing all the bad times..

Anyways, Jeremiah 29:11 (thanks debbie) says,

For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future."

There. Jeremiah 29:11 says it,

God has and KNOWS the plans for EACH and everyone of us.
It is to PROSPER.
NOT to harm us. (IMPORTANT point)
Give us HOPE and A (good) FUTURE.

And these things also tests us in our faith (in God), endurance, patience and also teaches us to not give in to ungodly ways.

So yeah.. It is true that everything has its good ways and bad ways. Even the bad ways have a little good in them and the good ways also have a little bad it them. Just focus on the GOOD and don't worry so much!

Well, that's my first post and it's mostly for myself, to remind myself why I thought of starting a blog. And I hope you enjoyed reading it.